Me Dad had one of them jumbo sausage rolls for his lunch yesterday, not a cheapo one, a "premium" version - he does like to spoil himself. So naturally I was hanging around at his feet, working on the assumption that he'll never eat a whole one of those. "Premium Jumbo Sausage Roll - filled with prime British sausage meat" it said on the packet. Now I've just looked up the word "filled" on dictionary.com and it says "to make full; put as much as can be held into; to occupy to the full capacity; to supply to an extreme degree or plentifully." Nowhere does it say "picture a small cocktail sausage placed into the mouth of the Mersey Tunnel." The robbing bastards. Needless to say there weren't any leftovers for yours truly. I was saddened to hear of the premature death of golfing great Seve Ballesteros, who was buried on top of his father yesterday in the family tomb. One over Pa eh Seve?
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.