I nearly fell off me beanbag I can tell you. What on earth is the BBC coming to? Just because they've passed a law in New York that says benders can get welded I for one never thought that the Beeb would stoop so low as to show grown men with their tongues down each others throats with what I can only call gay abandon. I don't expect heterosexual couples to be doing that on the national news, so I certainly don't want to see a gang of batty boy bottom fettlers at it do I? Whatever next? Bestiality on Blue Peter? Trannies on The Apprentice? You've gone too far the BBC, if I paid a licence fee I'd demand it back. As I can't protest in that way, I'm proceeding in the time honoured manner. Mark Thompson, director general of the BBC, you can be expecting a squishy little present in a jiffy bag any day now.
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...