Had a nice walk into Knaresborough with me Dad yesterday. That's about a four miler that is. The thing with a long one like that is that you need to make you own amusement on the way or it gets a bit boring. I elected to start off with a game of snudge for some of the way. Snudge involves rubbing your wet nose against the back of your Dads leg, the one that houses the pocket that houses the biscuit that you are going to get when you get to the other end. That's about all there is to it really, there's not much more than that. Obviously it's only effective if he's got shorts on. You don't bother otherwise, he needs to feel that wet nose on the back of his leg you see, it reassures him that you're there. After that we played "Where is he?" That's a bit more complicated. What you do is you pull like mad on the lead for about half a mile or so, until it drives him mental. Then you stop and then start dragging on the lead for about another half mile. This drives him really mental. Then what you do, this is the funny bit, is you walk at exactly the same pace as him, although ever so slightly behind him. So he can't see you, and the lead goes really slack, the slacker the better in this game. Then he suddenly spins round in a flap 'cos he thinks he's lost you and there you are! Then you start snudge again...unless you fancy the zig zag game. That's best when he's carrying something, a lukewarm pooh in a bag is ideal. You can probably guess the format. It's particularly funny if he's wearing shorts and you can make that lukewarm poohbag slap continually against his thigh as he struggles to keep changing his lead hand. Snudge, where is he, pooh, zig zag. Snudge, where is he, pooh, zig zag. Brightens up a long journey no end that does.
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.