No sooner do I announce the launch of my exciting new turd of the week award than Richard Branson brushes all opposition aside to surge into a commanding lead in week one. I've got a feeling that this is going to be a bit like the Premiership, there may be plenty of other people in the running but the same motley handful of three or four habitual turds are going to win most of the time. That reminds me of the story about a walk in the woods last week with me Dad in which we amazingly chanced upon a fairy. No not that Chatty Man fruitcake, a real proper cute little wings and a wand fairy. She told me Dad that he could have one wish to which he replied that he'd like to live forever (fcuk knows why like, I think it was just the first thing that came into his head). She said that she was sorry but under recently introduced EU fairy legislation, budget cutbacks and new coalition government wish austerity measures that she wasn't allowed to grant wishes involving the word "forever". Me Dad thought for a second or two and then said, OK I'd like to live just as long until I see Liverpool win the Premiership. The fairy said "you crafty bastard."
Create a password..... cabbage Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.... boiled cabbage Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character. 1 boiled cabbage Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces. 50fuckingboiledcabbages Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character. 50FUCKINGboiledcabbages Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively. 50FuckingBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourArse,IfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessImmediatelyYouTwats Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation. NowIAmGettingReallyPissedOff50FuckingBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourArseIfYou DontGiveMeAccessImmediatelyYouTwats Sorry, that password is already in use! See Fucking phone calls too