No sooner do I announce the launch of my exciting new turd of the week award than Richard Branson brushes all opposition aside to surge into a commanding lead in week one. I've got a feeling that this is going to be a bit like the Premiership, there may be plenty of other people in the running but the same motley handful of three or four habitual turds are going to win most of the time. That reminds me of the story about a walk in the woods last week with me Dad in which we amazingly chanced upon a fairy. No not that Chatty Man fruitcake, a real proper cute little wings and a wand fairy. She told me Dad that he could have one wish to which he replied that he'd like to live forever (fcuk knows why like, I think it was just the first thing that came into his head). She said that she was sorry but under recently introduced EU fairy legislation, budget cutbacks and new coalition government wish austerity measures that she wasn't allowed to grant wishes involving the word "forever". Me Dad thought for a second or two and then said, OK I'd like to live just as long until I see Liverpool win the Premiership. The fairy said "you crafty bastard."
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.