Apparently the male Capuchin monkeys piss into their hands and rub it all over their bodies as female tufted capuchins "become more active when they smell the urine of sexually mature adult males." The dirty bastards, what's wrong with fox shit, don't they have that in the jungle? We've got loads of it round here, I could sell them some if they wanted. Or I could bottle up some of my finest Border Terrier wee and sell them some of that if they were interested, me Mum says it leaves funny patches on the garden anyway. I'll see if me Dad will set me up a little website to get marketing the stuff. weeBay I think I'll call it. Satisfaction guaranteed, me bitches in the park find it irresistible. You can have your money back if you don't pull with a couple of dabs of that behind the old lug holes I'm tellin' yer.
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...