Apparently the male Capuchin monkeys piss into their hands and rub it all over their bodies as female tufted capuchins "become more active when they smell the urine of sexually mature adult males." The dirty bastards, what's wrong with fox shit, don't they have that in the jungle? We've got loads of it round here, I could sell them some if they wanted. Or I could bottle up some of my finest Border Terrier wee and sell them some of that if they were interested, me Mum says it leaves funny patches on the garden anyway. I'll see if me Dad will set me up a little website to get marketing the stuff. weeBay I think I'll call it. Satisfaction guaranteed, me bitches in the park find it irresistible. You can have your money back if you don't pull with a couple of dabs of that behind the old lug holes I'm tellin' yer.
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.