Me Dad tells me that he's gutted to read that his arch enemy Richard "We'll try and have your internet connection back on by Christmas 2020" Branson carelessly swam into the mouth of a whale shark off Cancun recently only for it to "puff him out". Me Dad says he's have cashed his entire PayPal account in to keep the bloody think in plankton for the rest of it's life if it had just done the decent thing. I ate a whole plum on me walk earlier, that may hurt on the way out later in the week....
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.