Cheryl and Ashley Cole are apparently back together and are planning on starting a family. Ryan Giggs and John Terry have already put tenders in to be the father if it turns out that Ashely is firing blanks, according to my sources. Their marriage originally got into trouble when Ashley found out that Cheryl was miming her orgasms. Real Madrid are said to be interested in signing the England left back, they've offered him 150 grand a week and unlimited texts. Woof.
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.