Stuck here in bleedin Stalag 45 whilst the two-leggeds get their puffy white skin burnt to a crisp. Harris in number four smuggled in an iPad which he's lent me for half an hour to type this missive. I've scratched the number of days I've been in here on the wall of my cell and it's now up to nine. I'm sure that the most they've ever left me in here for is seven or eight. The bastards. Freddie in number six says that he got left here for fourteen days last year by his inconsiderate bastards. I'm going to shit all over the kitchen when they finally do turn up. The tight bastards.
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