Was walking round Knaresborough with me Dad on Saturday morning, and as soon as we got out of the car there was this sound of "moaning" in the distance, across the other side of the Market Square. So I immediately think, bless, it's one of our less fortunate brethren. They can't help it can they? But no, it wasn't someone with with Tourettes effing and jeffing across the way. Or a handicapped person taking a good-humoured thrashing off one of their "carers". This was an Elvis impersonator giving us "Suspicious Minds" at full volume. And a not particularly talented Elvis impersonator at that. The girls in the deli were far from impressed as "Elvis" was right outside their door, their enquiries of "do you do requests, well here's a tenner now bugger off" sadly fell on deaf ears. You could just tell that in this guy's mind he WAS Elvis, there was no mistake about that. Passers-by had a bemused look on their faces that said "is this real" as they scanned the assembled throng for Jeremy Beadlesque hidden cameras. But there were none, this guy was well and truly real and he didn't look like he was ready to return to his sender any time soon. His "Well since my baby left me, I've found a new place to dwell, it's down at the end of Lonely Street..." intro was met with the classic retort "well why don't you feck off back there then" from one wag in the crowd. Me Dad had to cover me ears and eyes when they started throwing stuff.
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.