It's boring now there's no Julia Bradbury isn't it? And as for the aged John Craven, surely he should have been retired years ago along with Michael Aspel and Dennis Norden? Me dad says that he used to rush home from school to watch his newsround on the telly, and seeing as me Dad is bloody ancient then I'm surprised that JC is still going. As for the "John Craven investigates" feature they seem to running very short of ideas, it's only a matter of time before it's "John Craven investigates what's down the back of his settee" if you ask me. I could post him something to investigate I suppose, but they'd need to put that on after the watershed. Here's one for you the BBC: "John Craven investigates why Lenny Henry is about as funny as piles." There's a wealth of material in that one.
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...