Went to the local paper shop with me Dad this morning and as he was handing over his cash the woman behind the counter said "are you all right love, you look like you're crying?" Me Dad wiped away a little tear from his eye and said "yes, sorry pet, it's just that you look so much like my ex wife." Handing him his change the woman said "ah bless, did she pass away?" And me Dad said "no, but she was a big fat munter like you too." Pooh count: just the two. No Monopoly houses in today's offerings either, although there was a hint of a look of Blackpool Tower about one of them. In fact come to think of it most of my pooh's do look like the Blackpool/Fleetwood area.
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...