Not feeling too bright this morning. Ate half a penguin whilst out on me walk on Saturday morning. The bisqwitty confectionery kind, not the sort that you find in the Antarctic. I mean I wouldn't go for a walk in the Antarctic would I? Not without the right equipment anyway. No, I ate half a penguin and the wrapper, which put me right off me food over the weekend, so much so that me Dad has had me down to the vets this morning. There was an Afghan hound in there with only three legs. Bloody Taliban bastards. Anyway this woman wanted to stick this thing up me arse, a white plasticy thing with numbers on it. I was having none of that caper, what sort of a dog does she think I am? I may have sniffed a few in me time, as you do, just to be sociable like but I certainly don't partake in that sort of Barrymore malarky. So I bit her. Not hard, just enough so she got the message. She got the message all right, she stuck this bloody needle thing in me neck the cheeky mare. So I bit her again, a bit harder this time and now we're both on anti-biotics. Pooh count: nil. I'll have to try and force one out by tomorrow or he's got to take me back. I wonder if she'll be out of hospital by then?
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.