This new planet that they've found which the tabloids are calling "the new earth" - just like Devon and Cornwall it's apparently heavily populated with Man Utd and Liverpool fans. Keplar 22b - me Dad reckons he saw a bus with that on the front of it on his way home from the pub last night. Moron. Why don't they give them exciting names like Kerspangle 99 instead? Pooh count: two, it's so cold out there both of which gave off more steam than Drax. In fact I might post them down there, I reckon there'd still be enough energy left in them to boil a couple of kettles at the very least.
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...