What's all the excitement about? Them pandas that the Chinese have lent to Edinburgh zoo, I reckon they'll be dead by Christmas. Scottish 'keepers are rubbish, it's a well-known fact. It's ironic though that a couple of Chinese pandas can potentially do more for the Scottish economy than a nation of Jocks can do for themselves. Me Dad says he went to Perth once and it was rubbish. He didn't see one kangaroo, a koala or nothing. This Scots fella walks into a fish and chip shop and asks for a steak and kiddly pie. The guy behind the counter laughs and says "you just asked for a steak & kiddly pie." The Jock says "no I diddly." Pooh count: just the one, I might send it up there and they can deep fry it.
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.