What a great idea for an xBox game. You get to control Anthony Worrall Thompson running round Tesco on a turbo charged trolley nicking stuff whilst being chased by security guards and a very camp Ainsley Harriott who hides behind the end displays in a dress and keeps trying to kiss you. You can chuck tins of beans at the guards to temporarily disable them, or bludgeon Ainsley violently over the head with a frozen chicken until he's dead whilst stuffing bottles of wine and cheese up your cable knit jumper. I think it's a winner that one. Pooh count: just the one, which strangely featured a couple of perfectly formed and totally undigested garden peas on closer inspection. Fascinating stuff I'm sure you will agree, although not as impressive as the one on Staithes beach that contained a green Monopoly house I'll grant you.
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.