Walks into the KKKlanfield changing room and discovers to his shock a large steaming turd in the middle of the deck. "Who's shit on the floor?" he demands. Quick as a flash Andy Carroll raises his hand: "Me Boss, but I'm quite good in the air, waye eye," he replies. Talking of which...what a monster I uncurled round Dingley Dell this morning. This rascal was so large it had it's own gravitational pull, I swear. It took so long to deposit it had seven breather rings on it, a bit like Saturn but browner it was. And more sausage shaped obviously, I'm not a freak you know. Nice business.
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