Did you see half the old cast of AYBS on MasterChef last night? Remember Mr Rumbold? They guy that used to play him looked like he had ears made out of plasticine. In fact he looked like his real ears had fallen off some time ago, then he'd arrived at the studio only for some poor make-up girl to be given the job of cobbling him some up out of whatever was to hand, which the doddering old fool had then dropped in the middle of the road. Here they had subsequently been run over by a lorry, but with no time to remodel them they'd simply been stuck to the side of his head with some chewie. One of them was so large it could have picked up DAB radio no problems and the other looked like the cats had been at it. Rodney Bewes was on there too. The only thing that particular Likely Lad looked likely to do was croak it before he'd finished his macaroon. Mind you James Bolam doesn't look like he's got long for this world either does he? What's that absolutely shit "detective" programme called that he's in? New Tricks, that's it. Christ that's rubbish isn't it? A few old blokes and an old slapper wondering around trying to remember where they've left their teeth doesn't float my boat for an evenings televisual entertainment. Pooh count: three.
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.