First up, I'm feeling much better and back to my normal old shit rolling self this week after me Mum slipped me a worming tablet wrapped up in a bit of ham, so all's well and all that. Second up, I am delighted to hear that S Club 7 are to reform. Coldplay must be shitting themselves this morning I reckon. I'm sure I saw one of the birds from S Club on the telly the other week, in one of those "I used to be a celebrity but now I'm a middle aged porker with a couple of kids and nobody recognises me any more in the queue at Tesco's so I may have to resort to getting my tits out but even Razzle won't touch me with a barge pole, woe is me" documentaries that are so interesting. Pooh count: just the one, but now that my constitution is back to normal it was as big as family-size Toblerone.
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...