Miracles do happen, and this one happened to my mate Frank. He was walking through the park, minding his own business and chasing squirrels and ducks as you do, when all of a sudden he tells me that he felt "a bit queer" as he calls it. "Something just came over me, from behind, with a big WHOOSH," he says. The next thing he knows he's up on the bandstand preaching love and squirrel hugging, and people are travelling from all over to see him. "David Icke is always round our house since IT happened," says Frank with a shudder. "He keeps wanting to touch me, and calls me the special one. He says he had a cold last week and that I cured it. He says there's a sign on my bottom, yes you heard a sign on my bottom that proves I am the chosen one. I can't see it myself like, well nobody can see their own arse can they? Will you have a quick shuftie and see if you can spot anything unusual?"
