Asleep on me beanbag in a bit of spring sunshine this am I let go a fart pretty impressive even by my high standards. "Blimey that stinks, what's he been eating?" me Mum asked me Dad. "Well, he scoffed a load of cranberries whilst out on his walk this morning, so it must be that," me Dad replied. "Well waft it away will you, you don't have to let it linger." said me Mum. I almost forgot to congratulate Liverpool on winning the Carling Cup, their first trophy for six years at the weekend. That's a bit like pulling Anne Widdecombe on your first night out after being inside for a six stretch isn't it? Woof.
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.