Me Dad was waiting in the queue at Asda the other day when the old lady in front of him was struggling to put her items through the till. So, Galahad that he is, he helped her with the bread, milk and sugar etc and asked her, "Is there anything else I can help you with?" She said "yes, could you get my purse out of my handbag please?" Me Dad said "Of course I will, is this it under you arm?" She said "No get off, that's one of my tits." That's what he reckons anyway, the fat get. Still not feeling too chipper, so pooh count is somewhere in the teens today. I gave up counting after twelve.
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.