My beauty sleep was rudely disturbed this morning by a weird and very loud noise. Bloody hell, the central heating system is about to explode, I thought. But no, next door have decided to have cavity wall insulation installed. At 8am. To keep disruptions to a minimum they've fucked off out for the day, the van is parked three quarters of the way across our pissing drive so that they can get out, and some twat in overalls is hammer drilling his way around the house. So whilst they are off doing whatever they are doing, me Dad is trying to work from home with the phones ringing and everyone shouting "WHAT'S THAT FUCKING NOISE? ARE YOU ON THE HARD SHOULDER OF THE M1 OR SOMETHING?" Judging by his answers I think I must have caught my Tourettes from him, which is a cue to do my the teacher asks Little Johnny to come up with a sentence containing the word "contagious" joke, but I suspect that you've probably already heard it. And if you haven't you can probably guess how it goes anyway. Pooh count: three. No prizes for guessing who's letterbox they will be going through later. And it will save on the stamps too, always a little Brucie Bonus that.
Create a password..... cabbage Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.... boiled cabbage Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character. 1 boiled cabbage Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces. 50fuckingboiledcabbages Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character. 50FUCKINGboiledcabbages Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively. 50FuckingBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourArse,IfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessImmediatelyYouTwats Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation. NowIAmGettingReallyPissedOff50FuckingBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourArseIfYou DontGiveMeAccessImmediatelyYouTwats Sorry, that password is already in use! See Fucking phone calls too