Or have you two leggeds also had enough of this pissing bastard rain? I've got four fucking feet to get wet, so I'm twice as pissed off with the whole sorry bastard pissed wet through situation than you are. I blame Cameron & Clegg. Not so much a pair of wet lettuces as a couple of pissed wet through lettuces. We all fucking knew what was bastard coming the second we were declared to be in an official drought didn't we? Run the country? They couldn't run a pissing raffle them two. Not that I'm a fan of Millibands either, I'd rather gnaw off me own paw than have that shallow bastard in charge. I didn't vote any of them in so I don't see why I should have to put up with it. Spain may be in the shit, fair play to them, but at least they don't have to put up with it coming down like fucking stair rods for a month do they? Oh no, they can have a nice siesta in the sun whilst they're waiting for the dole cheque to come can't they. We haven't seen the bastard sun for weeks round here. I can't even go outside for a piss or a shit as the back garden is under three feet of water, so I'm having to "camel it" as they say. There's a terrier piss and shit tsunami coming once this lot eases off I'm telling you. Back to me bean bag I suppose, there's balls all else to do.
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.