Would people queue for hours to panic buy pissing stamps. Only in Britain would the Post Office ration the number of stamps that people could buy. And only in Britain would the newspapers fill themselves up with full page stories about it for Christ's sake. "Colin, 34, from Basildon said he'd camped outside the Post Office in sub-zero temperatures all night just to buy two dozen first class stamps. I'd have bought more if they'd let me, he said defiantly." What a tosser, haven't these incredibly sad bastards got better things to do? These are the same arseholes that were stopping normal people getting petrol just a couple of weeks ago. "The car's full, but I've got six empty pickle jars and a couple of empty Sainsbury's bags here." Pooh count: two, just five minutes apart they were yet completely different colours and consistencies. Nature is truly amazing isn't it?
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...