Skip to main content

Predictable

Hart: shite, doesn't inspire confidence, they'd clearly sussed out that he is poor clearing back passes under a bit of pressure. Cole: really shite. Johnson: good going forward, gets him into trouble defensively sometimes though. Terry & Lescott: both solid at the back. Young: complete shite. Milner: consistently pure abject shite, set up Johnson's chance in the first half only by virtue of a twice deflected shite cross. Wants shooting. I'll do it happily. Parker: out of his depth shite, OK he tried hard, but he simply isn't international standard. Gerrard: old shite, gets more shite as he gets older. Wellbeck: was he playing? The lazy shite. Rooney: fat useless over-rated shite, fails to deliver yet again, throw in string of "he's world class, this was another one off like the last one in the World Cup - that wasn't his fault either, he'll be better next time" excuses. Woy, tactical genius he is, he presumably sees things in Milner that the rest of us can't see. And he's only been in the job five minutes so cut him some slack will yer. No, he's shite too. Andy Carroll? Andy Fucking Carroll? Come on lads, this is the Euro's quarter final, against Italy, who are spreading it around like I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. Our backs are to the wall here. What shall we do? Let me have a little think, yes I've got it! Let's throw that big useless twat Andy Carroll on and play like Wimbledon, that'll fox them. Inspired Woy. Simply inspired.

Popular posts from this blog

Fucking Passwords

Create a password..... cabbage Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.... boiled cabbage Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character. 1 boiled cabbage Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces. 50fuckingboiledcabbages Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character. 50FUCKINGboiledcabbages Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively. 50FuckingBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourArse,IfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessImmediatelyYouTwats Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation. NowIAmGettingReallyPissedOff50FuckingBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourArseIfYou DontGiveMeAccessImmediatelyYouTwats Sorry, that password is already in use! See  Fucking phone calls too

My Mate Frank

Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...

RIP Frank Carson

It's a little known fact that Frank Carson actually got into comedy purely by chance. When he was a young man, he was a church bell-ringer in Northern Ireland, but he was so bad at it that every time he rang the bells, everyone immediately burst out laughing. It was the way he tolled them. Pooh count: two, and one of them a cracker that has your name on it Frankie. You can pick it up from Pearly Gates reception on your way in.