Hart: shite, doesn't inspire confidence, they'd clearly sussed out that he is poor clearing back passes under a bit of pressure. Cole: really shite. Johnson: good going forward, gets him into trouble defensively sometimes though. Terry & Lescott: both solid at the back. Young: complete shite. Milner: consistently pure abject shite, set up Johnson's chance in the first half only by virtue of a twice deflected shite cross. Wants shooting. I'll do it happily. Parker: out of his depth shite, OK he tried hard, but he simply isn't international standard. Gerrard: old shite, gets more shite as he gets older. Wellbeck: was he playing? The lazy shite. Rooney: fat useless over-rated shite, fails to deliver yet again, throw in string of "he's world class, this was another one off like the last one in the World Cup - that wasn't his fault either, he'll be better next time" excuses. Woy, tactical genius he is, he presumably sees things in Milner that the rest of us can't see. And he's only been in the job five minutes so cut him some slack will yer. No, he's shite too. Andy Carroll? Andy Fucking Carroll? Come on lads, this is the Euro's quarter final, against Italy, who are spreading it around like I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. Our backs are to the wall here. What shall we do? Let me have a little think, yes I've got it! Let's throw that big useless twat Andy Carroll on and play like Wimbledon, that'll fox them. Inspired Woy. Simply inspired.
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.