Watched Celeb MasterChef with the two-legged people last night and that Gareth Gates punter was the only one on there I recognised. Firstly, he appears to have turned into some sort of Morrisey tribute act, as he looks even more like the ex-Smiths front man than Morrissey himself. I kept expecting him to burst into "Heaven knows I'm miserable n,n,n,n,n,n..aw, forget it" but he didn't. In fact he didn't stutter at all. Which got me thinking did he just put that on in a cynical attempt to win a few extra votes in Pop Idol? Not that I've got anything against people who stutter, my mate Derek has a terrible stutter. Every time he introduces himself it's like the opening bars of Match of the Day. De, de, de, de, de, de, de, de de...de, de, de, de, de, de....
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.