Refreshed from a fortnight at Stalag 45 whilst everybody else pissed off on holiday. They didn't even let me take me iPad in case it got nicked they said, so blogging options were somewhat limited. We had to amuse ourselves by watching the Olympics on an old black & white telly that one of the other lads, Spike, had smuggled in. I'd never heard of the Olympics before. I have to say I really enjoyed it, and can't wait for next year's. Personally, I wasn't entirely convinced that the opening ceremony accurately portrayed everything that is quintessentially British. There was no sign of Simon Cowell or Jeremy Kyle for a start off. I think that we kind of dumbed down Britain, to make it easier to understand for the Americans I assume. My favourite bit of the opening ceremony though was the parade at the end of all the different countries that we've conquered. We're doing very well with all those gold medals aren't we too, unlike our antipodean chums the Ozzies. It's not surprising that the aren't any good at running I suppose, as if they were they wouldn't be there in the first place would they? It also struck me as being pretty ironic that our first gold medal was won by women reversing. Meanwhile the Somali team have apologised I see for getting sailing and shooting mixed up as just one sport. Anyway, gotta go, it's a quarter to sausage o'clock. Woof.
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...