Andrew Lloyd Webber. Saw a picture of him on the front of a newspaper magazine at the weekend and was shocked to hear that he's human. What a fucking ugly twat he is. Talk about hitting every branch of the ugly tree on the way down, this bastard clearly climbed back up again and fell down again one more time just to make sure. I thought it was an advert for fucking Star Wars. Jesus, he makes me Dad look like Brad Pitt that bloke. He very nearly put me off me tea, although as it was sausages he didn't. Like a cross between a snake, Yoda and that bloke of the League of Gentleman who's had his nose sellotaped to his head. He's minted like, but you'd need to be with a kipper like that wouldn't you? The Bogey Man probably tells his kids to behave or Andrew Lloyd Webber will come and get you. He look's like she's been dunking for apples in a chip pan. I mean, everyone has a right to be ugly, but he abuses the privilege. Nice bloke by all accounts though...
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.