Watched it with the two-leggeds last night, couldn't decide who I wanted to win: An old bender, a young bender or a Jock isn't much of a choice is it really? Still, at least the fat, ugly, ginger with a lisp got knocked out in the earlier rounds. That Paul Hollywood bloke, there's something not quite right with him either is there? He's supposed to be every middle-aged woman's heart throb although he looks like a dodgy second hand car salesman to me. And he's no stranger to the dark arts of bum banditry either, I reckon. "Look, your bottom's gone all soggy and there's far too much chocolate on those fingers." I rest my case. Mary Berry, she's alright I suppose, a bit like Daphne off Eggheads, she probably reeks of piss and humbugs but she's harmless. I do like that Mel woman though, even if she does look like a raging lezzer. Bring on the next series I say. Woof.
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...