Wonga have taken over at Newcastle it seems in a £24 million four year sponsorship deal. Club shirts are £45 each up front, or alternatively 36 easily affordable monthly payments of just £258.44. A pint of Newcastle Ale in the club bar will now cost £3.00 before the match, £87.50 at half time and £427 after the game. I don't like the dirty thieving Magpies for reason's I can't really explain. All those moobs on display on the terraces in sub-zero temperatures in mid-January might have something to do with it. What are they trying to prove? That they're a real man? If they were a real many they wouldn't have tits would they? Toon Army my arse, Moob Army more like.
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...