Well, being a Border Terrier, I don't normally get much post as you can imagine. So blow me down and bugger me rigid with the blunt end of a rogering stick if me Dad doesn't bring me home a second parcel that's been sent to his workplace, addressed to me, this one containing a covering letter as well no less (also addressed to me) along with 50 pig's ears!! A parcel and a personalised letter!! To me!! When was the last time your dog got a parcel AND a personalised letter along with 50 pig's ears? Exactly. Senders of said parcel/letter/ears are none other than Thomas Bell of Brigg, the country's leading importer and purveyor of fertilisers who also seem to have a bit of a sideline going on with pig's ears. Well, first off I can say that this lovely gesture shows a certain human and approachable spirit, let's call it spunk, that appears to be sadly missing all too often in this day and age. None of the other big corporate so-called fertiliser importers have bothered to get off their lazy fat spot-encrusted arses and send me any pig's ears have they? No, the spunkless bastards. Too busy maximising profits no doubt. Mercilessly shafting the farmer with not a glint of kindness or compassion in their fucking emotionless eyes. Dancing to their multi-national spunk-free faceless puppeteer paymasters tune. Not a drop of spunk amongst the lot of them. (One of them probably had a bit of spunk once, but he went away on a training course and they thrashed it out him). Thomas Bell on the other hand have spunk by the bucket full. They've probably got pallets full of the stuff stacked floor to ceiling in the warehouse. The thing with this Thomas Bell lot as well is that this is the second time they've sent me a box of pig's ears in the last 3 months. See, they've got a history of compassion, this wasn't just a one off thing. They care. Fuck the others, I say. I love you Thomas Bell.
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.