Have you seen it? If not don't. I thought it was an episode of MaterChef to start with, the one where the contestants all have to stuff an oversized Christmas turkey with 50 kilos of sage and onion. When I realised that it wasn't a turkey up there with it's legs akimbo I had to leave the room. One minute right, there's this woman just stood there, then the next thing right, she completely pisses herself. I'm not kidding. Like Niagara Falls it was. She didn't even try and make the loo, she just stood there, like a (literally) big wet lemon. The Severn Bore cascading down her surgical stockings. Put me right off me sausages that did. Even me Dad had to look away, and he used to be in the Scouts, that's how bad it was. Thank fuck that's finished for another series.
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.