Ikea have pulled around 18,000 Elk lasagnes off the menu at stores across Europe after they were found to contain pork, the BBC report. If my elf lasagne contained all pork and no fucking elk I'd be happy, so what's the fucking problem? They'd be better off employed finding out how much wood is in their flimsy as fuck furniture if you ask me. And where do they think those stupid fucking names up? A fucking stool called Norbert. Fucking Norbert. Or a pissing bastard wardrobe called Helmut and other such shite. The Scandanavian wankers. Stick your bastard elk lasagnes up your arses.
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.