Ikea have pulled around 18,000 Elk lasagnes off the menu at stores across Europe after they were found to contain pork, the BBC report. If my elf lasagne contained all pork and no fucking elk I'd be happy, so what's the fucking problem? They'd be better off employed finding out how much wood is in their flimsy as fuck furniture if you ask me. And where do they think those stupid fucking names up? A fucking stool called Norbert. Fucking Norbert. Or a pissing bastard wardrobe called Helmut and other such shite. The Scandanavian wankers. Stick your bastard elk lasagnes up your arses.
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...