Me Dad just dropped a full packet of tandoori chicken wings when he opened the fridge, the soft fat get. So what's a boy to do when presented with an opportunity like that? Eat the fucking lot as fast as possible that's what. Tandoori marinade all over me whiskers now, so I can enjoy a bit more of it later. They say that chicken bones are bad for dogs apparently, that's bollocks, we eat all sorts of shit, literally in my case. You've got to eat a tonne of shit before you die, they also say. That's bollocks as well, I eat a tonne of shit most days. Woof.
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...