Doesn't look well does he? I for one will be surprised if he makes it to Christmas. Apparently he's not even Scottish, I mean how can the Duke of Edinburgh NOT be Scottish? You'll be telling me that the Queen's part fucking German next. God bless her royal Ma'amness. Have you seen them new Coca Cola bottles with peoples names on them? I went to the paper shop with me Dad yesterday and there was a bloke in there frantically searching through all of them for one with his wife's name on it, but when he couldn't find one he just got her a KitKat Chunky instead. It's a good job me iPad does spell check 'cos that just came out as a KitKat Chinky! I mean she may have been Chinese for all I know. Well, I say may have been, I assume that if she WAS Chinese then she probably still IS Chinese. If she is Chinese then do you suppose he said to her on their wedding night "how do you fancy a 69, love?" to which she replied "no chance, you know I hate beef with broccoli." Woof.
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...