Watching the match on the telly with me Dad last night it suddenly occurred to me that Theo Walcott is an anagram of "Don't give the fucking ball to me if you ever want to see it again" - has anyone else ever noticed that? Also Phil Jones is an anagram of "way out of my depth" and James Milner works out as "I'm shite" - coincidence? I think not. I got to spend the weekend in Stalag 45 again whilst they all swanned off to London, the tight bastards. Still at least I didn't have to sit next to the annoying American family on the train who's baby screamed it head off all the way home whilst their other two annoying brats, Chip and Chuck, played some Septic card game with far too much zeal for me Dad's liking. "Skip a turn, skip a turn...hahahaha...eat my shit you mutha." A charming turn of phrase for a six year old. I can only assume Chip was named after his munter of a mother's favourite food, and wee ginger-haired Chuck (they made him wear a baseball cap, but he was a GINGER and no mistake) was named after the first thing his father did when he saw him. I wonder if the baby was called Huey?
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.