Clangers And Popular Misconceptions

Is it any fucking coincidence that on the same day that Joe Public can start selling his Royal Mail shares at a nice fat profit, proving that the government woefully underestimated their value, that the BBC also announce that the Clangers is coming back on our tellies? I don't think so. And here's another thing, they say that electric kettles boil water don't they? Me Dad says that the police took some convincing that he was just testing this theory when he chucked one into the bath when his first missus was in there. And another, 'nother thing, if electricity always follows the path of least resistance, then why doesn't lightning only strike in France? I'm home alone again today, they've fucked off to "work" as they call it. Just me and me blanket that smells of shit, I'm not sleeping on that fucking stinky thing. They never wash it you know, the dirty bastards. Covered in fucking hair it is as well, I think the teenager is moulting or something. Then there was piss on the kitchen floor this morning when they came downstairs and they fucking all looked at me. There's four of us in this fucking house, but they just leap to conclusions that it must have been me. They probably think that I'm making me own blanket stink of shit and putting me own fucking hairs on it, the morons. They treat me like a fucking dog in this house. Still, I heard me Dad saying that it's steak for tea, although me Dad tends to over season his, I mean ours, to my mind. Then we've got Downton on catch up from Sunday to watch yet, I love a steak followed by a good period drama me. Hang on, gotta go. here's Stumpy the Postman....