Is it just me or is it getting increasingly shit? It gets more and more like Blue Peter every week. "Hello, look at the lovely little fluffy bunny rabbits. Later John will be investigating cheese, whilst down on Adam's farm we're going to be making sheep out of pipe cleaners, putting a new sticky backed plastic roof on the barn and using some tin foil to make a pond for the ducks. But first the new gay bloke is going to talk to you about Morris Dancing, which is making a comeback after being almost extinct 20 years ago...." There's a reason it was almost extinct you twat, 'cos it's fucking shite that's why. And who are these wankers that have brought the stupid fucking thing back to life? They should have left it dying in the fucking gutter, with it's stupid twatting knotted hankies and it's fucking bells and daft hats. We should put them up against the fucking wall and shoot the bastard lot of them. That'd solve the fucking rural housing shortage over bastard fucking night. Do I make myself fucking clear, BBC?
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...