Between red and green? Fuck all if you're a cyclist. I REALLY hate those twats. On the evolutionary scale they are on the same rung of the ladder as Morris Dancers, and we all know what a sad little gang of wankers they are. One minute they're a road user (cyclists, not fucking Morris Dancers, keep up will you) - demanding equal respect with drivers - the next they're mounting the fucking pavement to dodge the lights scattering pedestrians hither and dither. If not that then they're cycling 14 abreast down the fucking A59 in their fucking gay lycra pants. Get to high fuck in the Kindom of Fuck you fucking bum fettling bent as a nine bob note chutney ferrets.
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.