Do you watch it? Did you see the one with John Noakes and Peter Purves on the other day? Poor old Noakesy looked completely befuddled. Gazing around like he didn't have a clue where he was. Like one of the extras in the background in One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest he was. Several pork pies short of a picnic that lad these days. Kept wandering off. PP had to keep dragging him back behind the podium to where he was supposed to stand, and then he'd wander off again. There was one round where they had to identify famous dogs, and it wouldn't have surprised me if they'd have had a picture of Shep on there and he wouldn't have even recognised that, the poor get. Still, he did better than that thick bent twat Christopher Biggins. His best shot at naming a country which included one of South, New, Islands, United and summat else I can't remember - eg. New Fucking Zealand, The United Bastard Fucking States etc, was fucking South Pacific! South Pacific - a fucking country! The sad old gay wanker. They want to throw him in the fucking South Pacific along with a 5,000 volt electric cable the thick fat get.
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...