Had you ever heard of him? No, neither had I. For all this sudden outpouring of grief "one of the greatest actors of all time" etc, well excuse me, if he was that bleedin good then I thought I'd have probably heard of the fucker. His grandad, Dustin, yeah. Mrs Fuckin Doubtfire, Cream Cake Versus Cream Cake, know who he is, but never heard of this bloke. Tributes are flooding in on Twitter from the rich, semi famous and desperate by all accounts. Found brown bread on the bathroom floor apparently, Christ what a shit that must have been. I've done some smelly dumps in my time, but nothing that was ever potentially fatal. Respect.
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...