That finds the combination of the headlines "Max Clifford Persuaded Teen To Take Her Top Off" immediately followed by "Chris Tarrant Has Mini-Stroke" slightly amusing? That's about as close to having a laugh as I'm going to get today anyway, stuck in this fucking dump on me own whilst they're all out. There's fuck all on the telly either, now that Crufts has finished. Still, I guess that ParaCrufts will be on in a couple of weeks. Me Dad said he went into McDonalds yesterday, and the bloke behind the counter said "would you like one of our special Easter McCookies sir? They're 50p each, or you can have three for a pound." Me Dad said "I'll have two please." He said it took about five seconds, but the spotty ginger twat's head did eventually explode. Woof.
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.