Me Dad says his dander was well and truly got this morning after he saw a news story mentioned on Twitter that caught his eye. "EU wheat crops 2014 expects 2% rise compared to 2013" was the headline. Link here (if you can't see/click on the link it's all to do with HTML 5, so you can copy and paste this into your browser window: http://agri.eu/eu-wheat-crops-2014-expects-2-rise-compared-to-2013-news5707.html). Was there anything in the story that he didn't know already, he wondered? Alas there was NOTHING in there that he didn't know already, seeing as he wrote the fucking bastard thing himself just yesterday! To top off the whole thing the fucking dirty robbing Johnny Foreigner plagiarist stink monkeys have gone and stuck a fucking copyright notice at the foot of it! They come over here, stealing our market reports...If I had a vote, I'd be voting Nigel Farage after this.
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...