No sooner do I "out" that Suarez creature as the "dirty, sweaty, cheating, biting, diving, racist slimy little twat," that he undoubtedly is than he goes and does it all over again. Has this low-life got no dignity? Obviously not. Money can't buy you dignity can it you twat? Milliseconds after biting the Italian guy he throws himself to the deck clutching his face like he's the one who's been on the receiving end. I mean I don't condone violence, but have you ever wished that, just once, a footballer might turn round and really welly the tit head? Give him a right good proper full on Royal twatting with all the trimmings, not just a bit of an elbow, something like the Nicholas Cage scene in Face Off where he smashes that fellow convict to a blubbering pulp with a metal canteen tray with a crazed look in his eye - the more he hits him the more he likes it. So you can see the outline of his face through the aluminium. All the crowd cheering wildly. That's what I'd like to see someone do to Suarez. On live TV. I'd pay to watch that. And I'm a pacifist. I hope they throw the fucking book at him. In fact it's not a book I want throwing at him at all, it's a dog shit encrusted live hand grenade. Or release Vinnie Jones on him armed with a big fuck-off baseball bat moments after saying: "see that scrawny little hamster faced twat over there Vinnie, yeah that's the one. He reckons he's shagged your Mum. He said she had a fandoolie like a clown's pocket...."
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.