Did you know that statistically speaking, you are more likely to get bitten by Luis Suarez than a shark? Woof.... Christ that was a right twatting for Brazil last night wasn't it? Can't say I'm sorry, even if it does mean that Germany are in the final. That gives me a good opportunity to tell one or two of my favourite German jokes though. Two German blokes are in a bar, and one says to the other "I saw a long queue of men waiting outside you house last night whilst you were out, and your missus kept letting them in one by one every half hour or so!" The other German replies "Yes, sadly she has turned to prostitution to subsides her drink and drug habit." That's about as funny as it gets in Germany. I say, I say, I say, why aren't there any asprin in the jungle? Because the retailing of pharmaceuticals in a largely unpopulated rainforest isn't economically viable. Woof.
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.