Is it just me or is it shit? And why do they put so fucking much of it on the telly? It's on like all fucking day and all bastard night. Loads of people you've never heard of running around in the rain. Adopt Geordie accent here: "And here he is, the great Kippo Kipono, the giant 8 foot 9 Kenyan" and we're all going "Who? Who the fucking flying fuck is Kippo Kipono when he's a fucking home? If he was that fucking great then you'd have thought that at least one of us would have fucking heard of the twat wouldn't you?" And here's another thing. They reckon that being on the telly makes you look 10 pounds heavier don't they? So does Mo Farah even fucking exist? That's why he's not there, there's no such fucking person!
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...