Am I the only one who doesn't give a flying fuck? If the sweaty socks want to be independent then let them fuck right off and be independent. We'll have our North Sea oil back, it's our oil, in our North Sea where WE found it, so we're fucking having it right? You can have Lulu back and keep your deep fried Mars bars and your wanky bank notes. That's fair. When they ring us up and say that they've changed their minds and this independence lark isn't all it was cracked up to be we'll just put the phone down on them, saying something polite like "I'm sorry, you're independent, now fucking do one sweaty or I'll call the police." Whilst we're at it can't we force the Welsh to be independent too?
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...