The East of England Ambulance service have apologised for leaving a dead body outside their station in Ely next to some dustbins overnight, according to a report on the BBC website! Which reminds me of me Dad's story of how he got so fed up with his first wife that he drowned her, chopped her up into little pieces in the bath and put her into bin bags and left her out for the binmen to take. He was understandably a little bit nervous on "bin day" when there was a knock on the door. "I'm sorry mate we can't take one of your bags," the binman said. "Erm, why not?" asked me Dad, all coy like. "The arse is hanging out of it," came the reply. Do you ever wonder if he makes these stories up? I do. A talking binman FFS!
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...