What an embarrassing load of old shitty bollocks that was. I see that the retail sector are seemingly so fucking desperate for cash, "extended" Cack Friday to cover the entire weekend, and are now following that up with pissing Cyber Monday today! Have they no fucking shame at all? No is clearly the answer to that one. I'm surprised that we didn't have last Thursday off for ThanksfuckingGiving as well. What else can we import from the pissing states? We've already got Trick or Bastard Treat night, High School Proms and all that shite. I blame Hannah Montana and all the other bollocks that the kids watch on telly these days, the lazy fucking work-shy bastards. If they want to be American so fucking much they should try pissing off over there to live. They can't even spell properly any way, so fuck off over there where nobody will even notice. Cnuts!
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...