I hate the fucking thing. Me Dad does too. He was doing his swede in yesterday trying to order his little granddaughter a present online. The whole sorry episode went something like this: The only place he could find what she wanted was on a website he'd never used before, so had to set up a new account, what's your mother's maiden name and all that shite. He went through the order process, got to the last hurdle, put his card number in and hit "confirm order" and it went through to a Lloyds Bank Clicksafe is authorising your transaction thing and then stuck there for about 20 mins. There was a "request online chat" button. He hit that. "You are in a queue, a representative will be with you in approximately 16 minutes..." 16 mins later, Hi, I'm Jessica, how can I help? He explains the situation to Jessica. He doesn't know if the order has gone through or not. "Hang on I will check your account....sorry Mr Norris I can see the account, but there's no orders against it, you will have to re-order. You can either try again online or ring this number." "I'll ring, Jessica, thanks" "Hello, Kaitlin of the big shite toy shop here, how and I help" Explain to Kaitlin. "Right Mr Norris just hang on... so you want to order another Lucy Dog? Because you've already ordered on of these to go to that address about half an hour ago." "Well, Jessica in your online help dept seems to think that there's nothing on my account." "The computer probably just hadn't updated itself. But you've definitely got one Lucy Dog on order. Do you want another one?" "Erm no, I think one will be bad enough thanks" You can check out Lucy Dog (she's got her own video and everything!) by searching for her on ToysRUs.co.uk and watch the video. Strangely the video features a bemused real life dog, so what she want's Lucy Dog for is unclear. Maybe the spaniel in the video pisses and shits everywhere? Unlike wanky Lucy Dog who just does everything that she's told. Not a shit encrusted collar or winnit in sight with our Lucy. I'd still give her one though....
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.